Recap: Tea Ceremony (Nov 23rd)

The tea ceremony officially started when Tom arrived. At this point, I was hidden upstairs. I believe Dennis went out to open the car door for Tom and his best man. There is some kind significance why only the brother of the bride may open the door for the groom. But I couldn’t tell you what! Then Tom handed a red packet to Dennis. In Chinese celebration, red packet containing money is the usual greeting and gift exchange.

But before Tom can come inside the house, he must face the Sisters' Troop challenges. This is a wedding game that is played before the bridal party would allow the groom to come inside the house for the tea ceremony. The idea is to test the groom's sincerity and love for his bride. This tradition of blocking the door demonstrates the Sisters’ unwillingness to marry off the bride because of their love for her.

The female from my family and friends made up my Sisters’ Troop. I only heard pieces of the challenges from the room upstairs. The ones I heard are:

• Make up a rap song to tell us why Tom should marry me. I heard him sang. I can’t remember the exact wording. Tom can’t recall much now but one sentence, something like “Joanna is so cool….”


• What is the five-word phrase Tom should learn to say to me? He failed miserably here. I think his first answer is “Honey, take out the trash.” At that point, Fran slammed the door on him. Gosh, I so wished to see his facial expression at that moment!!! I am wondering if the photographer were able to capture that moment or not. Tom’s Brothers’ Troop (his family members and friends) should help him complete the challenges. Apparently they didn’t get the hints! Finally, his youngest sister, Michele, gave him the hint, “I’m sorry, you’re right”.

I heard so much laughing at the front door!!! It certainly sounded like great fun for both sides.

Of course, Tom was supposed to barter with the Sisters’ Troop with a red packet either of huge amount or of amounts that requires a difficult mixture of notes and coins. $999 or $99.99, as 9 has the same sound as long “jiu”, for a long marriage. Some may ask for $888 or $88.88 as 8 has the same sound as prosperous “fa” for a prosperous marriage. I prepared the red packet for him the week before. I found out he didn’t even barter, but just hand it over to the ladies!!! Total surrender!!!

Once the challenges are completed to the satisfaction of my Sisters’ Troop, Tom came inside the house and I met him there. That’s the first time he saw me in my red dress. Val and the others then brought in the roast pig and the gift basket. The actual tea drinking portion then started.

During the tea ceremony, the bride is formally introduced to the groom's family through. Due to the logistic issue with the food catering, we had to switch up a bit. The order of service was rearranged to:

• Mom,
• Nilenka & Alan,
• Cheryl & Alan,
• Michele & Marsh,
• Brenda & Chris,
• Dennis & Sandy,
• Vanessa & Tony

Fran assisted us in serving the tea to each of the family members. And thank you to all my friends who assembled themselves into a production line for the tea cup washing, pouring, and serving. After drinking the tea, red packets were usually presented to us. I didn’t expect Tom’s family to participate in the red packets ritual. We both were surprised. They apparently did some research on the topic…

After the tea ceremony, Tom and I gave red packets to the kiddies and Tom’s nephews and niece; this is our first husband and wife duty. Then we moved to the courtyard for lunch. Tom and I fed each other first before anyone. This is our first meal together as husband and wife. This is kind of similar to the cake cutting/tasting in the western style. During the lunch, everyone has a tasting of the roasted pig too. We stayed for a short while, quickly took some pictures with the friends and the family.

Then mad dash to La Venta for the western ceremony!!!

I will post more pictures later when I get the official ones from the photographer. These are from Val. He did a great job!